did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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