I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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