My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
