brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
