Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
