We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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