marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
