Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
