That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize