Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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