You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize