you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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