Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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