Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
