dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
