She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm always down for nudity.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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