Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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