In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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