Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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