no. you can't hotbox the world.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
