i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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