My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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