just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
