Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
