I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
PANTIES FOUND
There's even glitter on my cock...
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