normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So apparently I’m into choking now
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
