So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
