Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I want to fling myself into the sun
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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