I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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