So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
