so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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