ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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