If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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