i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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