No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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