Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize