You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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