so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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