Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
