Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
