I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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