nut hugger
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
