i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
