I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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