Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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