Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
