My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize