Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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