Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
