I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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