I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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