guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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