yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
