i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He passed out mid-signature
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
