rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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