Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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