my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
