you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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