I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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