His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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