He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
