doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize