Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
3 2 1 whiskey
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
