So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
