Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
